We complete 7 years of our marriage today.
Very few things have lasted this long in my life. Relationships, Cities, People – I hardly have any significant accomplishments that match that kind of longevity. Other than perhaps this blog that became my space on 2007.
By destiny or design, I’ve been a nomad. Someone who’s enjoyed the whole lets pack up our bags and start afresh with great gusto. Being an army kid, new schools, new set of friends, new places to call home – all that came with the package and I loved every bit of growing up like that.
As a college student, I changed two cities to complete my higher education and as a working professional the list went beyond the total number of years I’ve worked for!
Until finally I settled down. And Delhi became home. And marriage became a relationship that outlasted that whole pack up your bags and move routine.
I’ve read somewhere how research shows, that the friendships that last beyond 7 years are meant to last a lifetime. And I can say that safely about these 2 people I know who stay miles apart from me and its been ages infact that I saw one of them. But they are my closest friends in the whole wide world. I can bare my soul to them without being judged and isn’t that such a blessing?
But marriage isn’t friendship that lasts as long as it does by just being a phone call away. It’s not as convenient , as no-strings-attached or as giving and accommodating. It is a lot of hard work. It needs being invested every minute. And now that I am a parent, I guess I can safely say that marriage is like bringing up a child. It requires a lot of patience and a hell lot of commitment as an individual to be the team that it needs you to be.
What I’ve learnt about being a parent and being married is that you often think that the next stage would be easier. I’d zip past the toddler, the tween and the teenage , you wonder , when you hold an infant in your arm. Because you think that once the learning curve reaches the tipping point, you’d get the hang of it. But that never happens. Coz being happily married and being a happy parent is all about now, this moment. And not some pot of gold that awaits you at the end of the rainbow.
So 7 years down the line, I might dole out relationship advice to everyone who’ll ask coz they might think I am a pro but the truth of the matter is I am still figuring out exactly what makes it tick.
Being understanding yet holding one’s ground? Balancing the Giving in and Giving up a little? Being a little short sighted and a lot far sighted or vice versa? Enjoying the moment or planning really far ahead?
Questions . Questions and more Questions. Coz like life, parenting and yes marriage – doesn’t come up with a hand book.
But with 7 years of rights and wrongs, small joys and huge challenges, beautiful memories and mindless arguments, I’d say it’s not the time to switch, or the time to scratch that itch . It’s time to figure out the glitch [or anomaly ] that being married is.
Here’s to the next 7 years of finding the answers , when most of the questions have been asked. Or so I would presume.