The Feminism Triangle

There are three kind of people who get involved in the Feminism debate. The ones who get it , the ones who don’t get it and the ones who want some attention at the cost of it.

Honestly if you are the first kind , you are like me , going about our lives and doing our two bits. Occasionally throwing a fit and trying to drill some sense into the second category , often exasperated as to why they don’t get something so logical.

I did that for the longest time. Getting into loggerheads with some or simply calling out their bluff because it irritated me when they ironically called being Feministwanting to be a man or stupid and pointless . I’ve had amusing discussions with the kinds who completely question the need to ‘talk about it’ much less ‘fight for it’ because they feel that the world’s already a super cool place to be a woman. Good times.

But then as you observe these conversations closely , you begin to see the third category emerging.Β  They are the ones who are now taking the fun out of a heartfelt argument between category one and category two .

They aren’t confused , Ignorance isn’t bliss for them. They don’t get bothered about the fuss everyone’s making .They pass irrational and often factually incorrect comments in the name of feminism for a momentary spike in their popularity .

What I have chosen to do is focus my energy on the second section. It’s the majority and they are genuinely living in their myopic euphoric worlds. One that’s fair to women, where we get equal pays [ or alteast due credit for our contribution , ideas or zeal ] , men share work load at home [ or atleast are appreciative of all that’s being done for them by their equal half ] , advertisements aren’t selling fairness creams or jewellery in the name of ‘looking more confident ‘ [ on your wedding day or during that businessΒ  meeting] , we are raising sons and daughters alike and 5 year old girls are safe [ irrespective of whatever they are wearing to tempt any male in the range of 16yr to 60yr in their vicinity]. It’s also a world where women aren’t judged for choosing to keep their maiden name after wedding or otherwise and heroines aren’t beating up 20 men to prove that they are playing a women centric role.

There’s so much to tell them , to point out how shallow their logic is , to show them the stereotypes they are practically living day in day out.

Am not going out on a dandi march ( as yet ) but I am going to turn a blind eye to the third category . The one’s who would pass snide remarks and try to fire our passion and feed through our energy to get that reaction they thrive on.

Nope dear lady in a short skirt from an affluent background , you’ve lived a life rich with opportunities and possibilities and yet you are judgemental of women who aren’t exactly Gen Next.Β  You could ride away on your high horse , giving us a lecture on how women should or shouldn’t dress . It may confuse a section of the second category when you equate ‘lifestyle choices’ to feminism , misplaced rebellion or whatever vocab you are throwing around by the virtue of being a literary figure of a ‘certain standing’ .

But not me. You are not getting any attention from me . We have larger battles to fight and you’ve already picked sides.


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16 thoughts on “The Feminism Triangle

  1. You know there are very few people who are the first kind. Most people I have come across belong to category 3, all just looking for their 15 minutes of fame. I have learned the same lesson that you have, concentrate on category 2 and ignore category 3.

    PS: Let me know if you do go out on a dandi march
    PPS: You know what category I belong to.

  2. A lot of people sadly think feminism is pointless, and some even go so far as to say feminists ruin lives! I don’t know where they get their facts from. But these people of privilege who use the f word for cheap publicity really rub me the wrong way!

  3. That was such an enlightening post, Chandni and people who fall in the first category are the ones that bring about that change in lives around them!


  4. Category one are my favourite too..Actually many don’t seem to exactly have idea of what feminism is. Judging women and telling them how they should be, bringing men down, etc is exactly the opposite of feminism. People on the anti-feminist side can be just as crazy. Funny how anti feminists seem to think their definition of the “feminism” is more correct than the definition given by actual feminists. Well, I can go on and on about this topic. Good one Chandni πŸ™‚

    My latest post- http://kreativemommy.com/meet-strong-mom-deepa-malik/

    1. I completely endorse your views Deepa.. and am so happy to see so many people reacting positively to the post .. truly appreciate .this topic is very close to my heart so i wouldnt mind us going on and on about it online — am always a tweet/DM away! πŸ™‚

  5. Great observation and beautiful article.
    I think the problem with these people from 3rd category is that they do much harm to the efforts of people from category 1. They give all the reasons, from senseless statements/ideologies, to make it very difficult to convince people from category 2. I am reading this book these days (Bad feminist), and the introduction itself screams out loud that some of the so-called feminism supporters are faulty (perks of being humans) and people consider their imperfections as the faults in the concept of feminism itself.
    I still haven’t figured out what to do about it.

  6. I see people, only on internet though, being so bitter about feminism. It has nothing to do with men bashing, as many of them always divert the discussion into that. The struggles of a women in first world country is so different than a developing country. Loved this post!

    1. On internet I guess people are just plain bitter about almost everything πŸ˜‰

      So you are right in a way. And beyond internet , people just talk about it – they’d rather make it a non issue or ignore it or not get into a discussion at all.. So unfortunately talking on internet is sometimes our best bet irrespective of the second and third category making it tough for us..

      thanks for sharing your views. this topic is very close to my heart and the post is inspired by an incident that happened online so.. πŸ™‚

  7. Brings to mind the term I came across recently – Nazi-feminist – coined by me thinks someone overtly threatened ans insecure by women standing up for themselves.
    I dont have patience, sympathy or tolerance of the “martyr” syndromes of us women – I believe in going out there with everything blazing (doubts and all) and just going for what I want.
    Awesome read Chandni – keep it coming woman.

  8. Somehow feminism is always a topic that is misunderstood, even by women. Some try acting like men, Some try abusing men and some go overboard and try to totally victimize them. I do not see any relation of feminism and men. I find lots of category 3 around me (trying to pull us into their circle too πŸ™‚

  9. Feminism….aah. Probably the most misunderstood and mis-represented concepts of all times. I can totally relate to your low tolerance levels to the second or the third category. I guess its a battle in itself. Very nicely expressed. Ohhh…by the way, if you plan a dandi march, I am with you.

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